24 February 2012

The Last Orange (First Campaigner Challenge of This, the Fourth Campaign)



Shadows crept across the wall. Mitch picked up the coffee can filled with coins and rattled it. The shadows zipped out the window. They were skittish, nothing to fear.

Mitch continued peeling the orange - the last orange. It was the tail end of winter, and the grocery stores had been closed to all but looters since late January.

Most of his neighbours were gone now. Cowards. Mrs. Kowalski said they’d been eaten, taken over, or some such nonsense. Mitch figured they’d fled.

He would rather starve than leave his home. Besides, the shadows weren’t dangerous.

To his surprise, the orange wasn’t dry at all, but juicy and tangy.

Something stirred in the corner. He picked up the can and shook it. The thing didn’t budge.

Mitch stood. “Bold, are you?”

The shadow shifted into the shape of a man. Mitch staggered back, sat down hard in his chair. He shook the can, harder this time.

The shadow lifted away from the wall. It loomed over him.

Mitch screamed as the shadow slid its fingers under the skin of his face and peeled the first strip. He looked dried out, but inside he was still tangy and juicy.

Everything faded.

Notes:
"Shadows crept across the wall" - check
"Everything faded" - check
"orange" - check
Horror genre - check
200 words - check


BOOM! 


Looking forward to reading everyone else's entries. 


If you liked this story, give me a quick thumbs up over here - I'm number 192, waaay down at the bottom.

18 comments:

C.M.Brown said...

Really juicy, oohps, I mean gory!

Miranda Hardy said...

Ouch! Poor Mitch. Great story.

Daisy Carter said...

This is fabulous! I LOVE it! Great voice and great pacing!

#73

Bess Weatherby said...

Great voice, you captured a lot in very few words. Great job!

Jamie Dement (LadyJai) said...

I loved how you used the peeling of the orange! Awesome!

Hope you enjoy mine as much as I enjoyed yours!

Ann Cory said...

Eerie! Nice build-up of suspense - well done!

Jess said...

AHHH!! SO SCARY!!! LOVE IT!! OH my gosh, that was really creepy! Great job!

I'm entry #19

Lady Gwen said...

Oooh, a shadow shape shifter! I like the comparison between the orange and the guy. Nicely done.

Dawn Malone said...

Nice! I love the comparison with the orange. Perfectly creepy - well done!

Chris Kelworth said...

Nice twist, thanks for sharing. Funny how we both took somewhat similar angles on the prompt, huh? :D

Anstice Potts said...

I really enjoyed this- both creepy and funny. I really like the tangy and juicy line. Awesome!

CherylAnne Ham said...

Loved it! You fit so much into 200 words. Really excellent job. Good luck in the challenge. :D

Traci Kenworth said...

Boom!! That was really good. Reminds me of that Buffy episode with the creepy, peeler guy that tried to eat Willow. Excellent story.

Susan Francino said...

Congratulations! You've been shortlisted to move on to stage two of the first campaign challenge!

Jaye Viner said...

Haha. There's a good turn! I enjoyed that. An excellent scene.

Lori Ann Freeland said...

Love your take on this! Thanks for leaving such an awesome comment on my blog :)

The Capillary said...

That was creepy, but so cool!

Cynthia said...

Spooky! I like the ironic twist at the end!

ShareThis